Dante I am not, but i do like Divina Commedia. This is not a critique of his epic work, but the title is in homage to his work. I think God has a sense of humour, usually at my expense, but a funny one none-the-less. He uses it to nudge, ok push, ok ok shove me in the right direction at times, and with hind-sight I usually see the funny side too. You don’t have to read the other blog posts to understand this one, but if you are following my walk, it might help.
So I made it south into the Shire*, you see I willingly jumped in the car and reluctantly drove +300 miles at 3am. My heart was calm but my mind raced around in circles of “do I or don’t I?” The questions: Do I explain myself in full? Do I need to? Now you should know I searched the internet to the best of my ability to find a flight, train, even a bus for my mum – all to no avail. Humour failure No.1
After decades (no exaggeration) a family was reunited inside a Travelodge reception area. And, it was happy! I was surprised by that emotion – given history and the reason we were there, but, I cannot tell you how much it meant to see their faces after so long. There was still trepidation within me, explanations and apologies were looming. Reality was not suspended just because I was glad to see them. Humour failure No. 2
The six of us spoke over each other catching up on snippets of this, that and everything. But the time ticked on and actually because I was cheap and only paid for an hour of parking, we headed off to the hospital. The reason I had been awake for 10 hours already drew near. Apprehension joined the party. I got a much needed caffeine boost thanks to my uncle but the spot it needed to reach was unreachable. Humour failure No. 3.
As footfall increased through the main door at the hospital it was clear visiting hours had begun. Tears silently rolled down my face. There just seemed to be an unsurmountable mountain of history to climb over to get to where I want to be [baptism]. Again the questions started, mostly in my head, but a very special lady spoke to me and told me whatever has happened in the past is irrelevant now, because all that matters is that I am here to do the right thing. Then a special man gave me a ‘Dad’ hug and prayed for me. Inviting the holy spirit to take over was the only choice I ever had in all that was happening because I was never going to be able to go it alone. There was a change and calmness, resolve to do the right thing and courage to carry it through. And for the record I did.
When faced with any adversity, christian or not I’m willing to (bet) guess most people question God. Also, when faced with inexplicable/heartbreaking pending loss, christian or not we ask God for just one miracle and promise the world in return, oddly enough not our souls (I Digress -talking point for another time perhaps (?)). I think when God enters the equation, the logic is instantaneously removed. Why? Because ……you are acknowledging God has a plan and you don’t like it! Isn’t that Divine Comedy?
Remember these are my ramblings…I also think that because His plans are not in alignment with our own plans, at times that we suffer these sense of humour failures and resent Him. Thus it feels like Inferno [Dante]. The enemy has a job to do, so the wee nudge in the right direction [when you knew it was the right thing to do in the first instance] that happens to make the creator laugh, is for the greater good in your life.
This infinite equation only becomes an absolute when a constant is added. Faith. Faith lets us trust in Him and His plan. You need to have faith to take that leap into the unknown, like so many people of note in the bible did. It gives you the bravery required to do so. And when you do, He will guide you. Worth noting here that when you give-in/accept, wether it be reluctantly or willingly you slowly start to see that all the hurdles you faced slowly dissipate. I am not saying it will be easy, but ultimately you will His message in your own journey. My journey thus far has shown that unconditional love can broker peace here on earth. His love can give you everlasting peace.
*Shire – colloquialism for England in my own made up dictionary of meanings. It is meant as an endearing term and by no means an insult to England, her citizens or residents. Reminds me of Tolkien and that is a compliment.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.