Where is home?

Took some down time and watched 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi. Spoiler alert: During a lull in the battle, Jack asks “why can’t I go home, why can’t I just go home and stay there?” and the reply he gets from Rone is “warriors aren’t trained to retire Jack”. This movie is a true story and at the end Jack calls his wife and tells her that he is coming home for good.

It got me thinking, why do we need death to remind us of what’s important and where our happy place really is? The ‘grass is greener‘ syndrome is pandemic!

Tradegy is a game changer. Whether it is death or illness, natural disaster, famine or war. It is a catalyst for inner reflection. Why? Because, I believe, we realise that life is finite. So suddenly we have a mind shift. Quality over quantity. Happiness over profit/power. Time over money. The little things over the big things.

However, as with most things it’s a T-junction. It can go either way. You can fully embrace the little things or ignore them and persue the big things. You decide where your focus is headed. It never seems to be a case of having it all. There is a cost somewhere, be it financial or sacrificial! I will save the “why can’t we have it all?” for another time. 

I used to be a self proclaiming aethiest, until I realised that by definition I acknowledged God’s exsistence in my denial! It was illogical and indeed an irritant – thank you Mr Spock, so I refrained from using any lables. But – it made me think a lot about why I am here, what the point was and where did I belong? I embraced the YOLO lifestyle, but can honestly say it was unfulfilling.

Then my Dad got sick and he was gone. It all happened so quickly.  So death started my journey on reflection. Well more honestly, the reluctant church going did, because my mum didn’t want to go alone. I stood at my t-junction as the Sundays came and went. I decided that a job that made me happy was more important than a job that made me money so embarked on a career change. That was a short lived year thanks to the oil crash and my redundancy.  Silver linings though, namely some new life long friends and the next career phase. It has allowed me to explore our planet waters and get paid to do so albeit poorly in comparison to career paths of old. I was happy, for the most part.

So 2 years of living the dream have passed and I’m physically home at the moment waiting to  start a new job, but, my heart longs for the sea. I am asking myself the same question Jack did! Because I am home, I’m just a teeny tiny bit restless.

Does that mean I’m not home? Where is my home? Is the grass greener anywhere but where I am? Questions I do not have the answers to, frustratingly.

Then tonight at prayer gathering I was reminded I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be. I also remembered the recent book I read, the enemy will throw trials at you to stop you becoming who you are meant to be in the kingdom! The reasons for anything that brings you down in life may not be evident in the moment or the immediate future but it is a T-junction. We could focus on that trial or tradgedy, and become negative, self-pitying or disheartened for example; basically focused on it dominating our lives in tiny miniscule detail. Or we could use it as an opportunity to grow our faithfulness in God. To give thanks for the growing process of our heavenly gifts and blessings. Give Him the glory, trust Him and be obedient. Remember the bigger picture, and focus on that instead.

Geography is irrelevant when we embrace that He is home. Need reminding? Read the Book of Job 36:15 

Good night from Scotland WordPress x

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